Filming Video #8 of "Casual Cruelties" Series

Emotions and How to Manage Them

I had a rough, restless night, last night.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Filming Video #8 of "Casual Cruelties" Series
Filming Video #8 of “Casual Cruelties” Series

I suppose that my visit to the New Museum triggered a set of bad feelings. Firstly, I saw a curator who years ago expressed interest in my work only to find that she had mistaken me for someone else and suddenly became uninterested. Secondly, I saw an artist with whom I was in an art and technology incubator a few years ago. She has been finding a nice level of success with her work, and I have attempted to keep in touch with her, to little avail for various reasons. She currently has a show in Brooklyn and I sent her a message congratulating her on the show and suggesting that she let me know when she might be giving a talk or tour.

Bangkok Bar at Gansevoort Market, Chelsea, NYC
Bangkok Bar at Gansevoort Market, Chelsea, NYC

Instead, she suggested that we “hang out,” so I suggested, for instance, that I was going to the New Museum event. I knew that I wouldn’t hear back from her. My life is absolutely riddled with one-way communications with almost everyone. I then saw her walk into the very event I had mentioned, which made me a bit sad for her seeming insincerity and lack of communication, in conjunction with seeing the curator and then thinking of how much Internet-based work that I have done that has been ignored. Oh well. It’s not surprising that I’m doing this “Casual Cruelties” cycle. It’s a perfect summation of how I feel in my interactions with many, many people.

Dish at Bangkok Bar, Gansevoort Market, Chelsea, NYC
Dish at Bangkok Bar, Gansevoort Market, Chelsea, NYC

I suppose that’s enough therapy for today. Honestly, I have so much to accomplish that I can’t even afford to feel down. I just don’t have the time. Feeling down just saps my energy and makes me want to stop, which at this point, I cannot. Plus, it’s an extreme privilege to be in this program and to be doing anything related to what I am. Pick up, and keep playing, Tim!

I’m on the way up to my studio to hopefully shoot two videos, today. I’ll be pleased if this can happen, so we’ll see.

So I met the assistant at 9 am and we had a good shoot. That finished by 10 am and I was quickly on my way back home, with a stop at B&H to buy a new storage drive for all of my work. Then I walked down the High Line from 34th street to 14th street, where I had a quick bowl of spicy Thai chicken at a place called Bangkok at the Gansevoort Market on 14th street and 9th avenue.

After that, I dropped my materials off at home and went to the IFC Center on 6th avenue to see a film by Jim Jarmusch about the rock band, The Stooges.

Gimme Danger: A Film about the Stooges
Gimme Danger: A Film about the Stooges

After the movie, I checked the footage made this morning. Was there something that I wasn’t pleased with? Yes. Although the assistant had done a great job, he held the gun with both hands while taking shots, which certainly diminished the iconic image that I’d like to create for each video.

So, I tried to see if I could painstakingly remove his top hand and replace it with a drawn gun top, and I realized it would be a lot of work to look horrible. I want indelible images for each video shot and a fully pointed, one-hand gun coming into the frame would be the best.  I thought about how the Tasker was planning to be out of town and I figured that I had just better get in touch with him and re-shoot. Happily, he was available and I rushed back to the studio for a 5 pm meeting, as he suggested. I decided, anyway, to rethink the shot and tightened it up, leaving the sloppily painted line that divides the floor from the wall out of the shot.

I made it uptown and we re-shot the piece quickly. I paid the assistant a premium for his time and I’m so glad it worked out. After that, I had a meal of pasta near school (it was tasty) and then jetted back downtown to prepare to see one of my favorite rock bands, ever: Steely Dan! More about that tomorrow.

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